You Deserve a Gold Star for All You Do – A Message to Mom and Dad

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Everyone remembers their elementary school years. It may not be in fine detail, but the gist of it is in tact. You remember that these years were a breeze compared to Middle and High schools on into college. How many of you got straight A’s for the most part in Elementary school? If you tried, you succeeded. We even have the no child left behind policies now. All you have to do is put forth a little effort, and listen to your teachers. Voila, star student.

My daughter is in first grade right now.

Apparently, this whole effort thing doesn’t apply to her. She brings home a daily folder. On the front of said folder is a grid for daily behavior. If she had a good day, she gets a gold star. We’ve had 4 days of school. She only has 2 stars.

She has trouble following directions I see.

All she has to do is show up for life. But that is too hard for her. She’d rather take a nap, and ignore her teacher.

I feel like I deserve a Gold Star, or even a few.

As parents, I feel we should get a gold star every now and then for what we accomplish throughout the day.

Picture this, as a mother, you’ve spent your day cleaning the house, packing lunches, cooking meals, checking homework, kissing ouchies, mediating fights, counseling broken hearts, driving everyone around town, working a job, and making your husband happy. You go to bed that night having not had any time for yourself, feeling drained. You hear a little knock on the door, and your little one walks in with a folded piece of paper. You open it, and you see a big gold star. “Thank you for being a good mommy” Win.

For us, there’s a lot more to it than just showing up. We have to actually work our rears off to succeed in life. It’s not easy. It is even harder if we have part/full time jobs or school to keep up with as well.

Kudos to you parents who are providing for your families while trying to grow yourselves! Gold star for you.

We are responsible for more than just our own lives. We don’t get days off. Holidays are for children whether we like it or not. There are times when we just get so completely worn down by trying to keep up with it all.

You may not see it right now, but you do receive Gold Stars on a daily basis. Sometimes we have to look hard for them. Sometimes they’re hidden among all the busyness, and rushing around.
That time your child brought home an A on his/her homework after working so hard to get it just right was an achievement for you. They rushed it home to show you. They wanted you to be proud of them, but go ahead, and be proud of yourself as well. You shaped that hard worker.

When you come home after a hard day at work, and discover, just one time, your house is already clean. I know it’s rare. But those around you really do know how hard you work. One of them rewarded you for what you do for them. Just this once, they acknowledge you in deed.

You walk through your house turning out all the lights for the night, and hear a whisper coming from your child’s room. “God, please help mommy feel better. And thank you for giving me a good mommy.” It wasn’t for you to hear, but there it is. They’ve yelled at you all day. They’ve made messes. They’ve fought with siblings. They’ve refused to do their chores. But in this moment of innocence, you see their love for you.

There are so many more examples out there. They are personal to you, and you really have to look for them. But life gives you Gold Stars. Count them. Cherish them. Use them as fuel to get through all the muck of your week.

I’m going to challenge you. After reading this, I want you to take a week. I want you to watch really closely for Gold Stars in your life. After a week, come back here in my comment box. I want to see what you’ve found. Maybe your gold stars will help encourage someone else. Maybe they’ll even encourage me.

I promise, if you look, you’ll find them.

Let’s fill our chart up with them!

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11 Responses

  1. Jiya B says:

    Lovely read thanks for appreciating a parent’s efforts while we grow we equally help our family and kids. Thanks for sharing

  2. I would love to get gold stars for my efforts! Being a parent is so hard and there is no one to give us recognition.

  3. Dilraz says:

    As parents we sometimes do forget to acknowledge ourselves, and to give ourselves a pat! Or the proverbial gold star!
    And we definitely need to stop and do it every now and then, before we think we are losing the plot!

  4. Jenni Petrey says:

    This is wonderful. As parents we do need to stop and look at all the good that we do.

  5. manveen says:

    There truly are those moments which make parenthood totally worth it. SIgh, getting to those moments is the struggle.

  6. I feel really sad for your daughter that she is only 2/4 on stars! My own girls are struggling to adjust with their “Behavior Self-Regulation Systems” as kindergartener and 3rd grader at our local school – but the philosophy behind these systems is supposed to be rewarding kids for little successes a lot early on, so they can strive to WANT to do well, versus punishing them quite so much out of the gate for not quite having the new expectations down yet. (At least that’s how I’ve always understood the philosophy behind such systems.) Yes, there are lots of times in life when we show up and do the work and yet aren’t rewarded or patted on the head for it – but still, I hope you can encourage your kiddo to take heart, hang in there, and be proud of giving it the best shot she can even if the teacher doesn’t think it was up to snuff!

    • Joseph says:

      Oh trust me. It wasn’t up to snuff. I know my daughter, and we warned them in advance. Out of 5 kids, she’s been the most stubborn.

      But, after a lengthy talk, she has gotten stars since. I eveneed rewarded her today with a trio to the store for keeping her stars.

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