If You’re a Bad Mom, Then I’m a Bad Mom, Too – A Guest Blog
No matter how many kids we have, parenting can be overwhelming, exhausting, and one of the hardest things we will ever have to do. There’s not an instruction pamphlet to refer to when we’re facing an issue with our kids that we aren’t sure how to deal with. So much of parenting is trial and error and there will be times that we make mistakes, and there will be times that we feel like complete and utter failures as parents. There will also be times that we get it right and those are the times that we need to be focusing on, but so many of us completely overlook the good and put way too much attention on all the rest.
For instance, I don’t know how many times I’ve seen posts on Facebook from other moms that start with, “I’m such a bad mom” or “I’m a horrible parent,” but I can’t recall all that many times that I’ve seen posts that talk about the good things those moms did for their kids that day. We need to focus on those things. I am completely guilty of these things myself, so if you’re a bad mom, then I’m a bad mom, too.
You guys know the posts I’m talking about:
“I’m such a bad mom. My son was standing in his highchair and while I had my back turned, he fell and hit his head on the floor.” Well, if you’re a bad mom, then I’m a bad mom, too because I can tell you that at least 3 of my 6 kids did that at least once.
“I’m such a bad mom. I was completely frustrated at my husband for not helping me with the kids and I snapped at my daughter when she didn’t even do anything wrong.” Well, if you’re a bad mom, then I’m a bad mom, too. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve snapped at my kids for no good reason whatsoever. And I’m always frustrated at my husband for something, so I can relate in that department too. Take a deep breath and relax.
“I’m such a bad mom. My son was running on the concrete and fell and scraped his knee and it took me five whole minutes to get him to stop crying.” Well, if you’re a bad mom, then I’m a bad mom, too, and I’ll even one-up you. I tell my kids all the time to not run on the concrete because they might fall down and get hurt, so then when they do run and fall and get hurt, I make sure there are no broken bones and then while I’m bandaging them up I say, “If you had listened to me, you wouldn’t have fallen and gotten hurt.”
Let me tell you, my kids drive me absolutely insane. They don’t listen to 90% of what I say to them. They whine and cry and fight with each other. They make my house a complete mess and then throw a fit like someone’s murdering them when I tell them they have to clean up their mess before they can go outside or watch TV. They run right past their dad to hunt me down to ask me a question that their dad could have easily answered. (I mean, really, my husband will be up, sitting on the couch watching TV or playing video games and they will come wake me out of a dead sleep to ask me if they can eat a bowl of cereal.)
There are days when my kids are driving me so crazy that I want to run away. It doesn’t even matter where I’d go as long as my kids weren’t there with me. But, I don’t actually do it because they’re my kids and I love them, despite the fact that they sometimes make me want to hide in a dark closet with a bottle of vodka and never come out. But I guess that makes me a bad mom, too.
There’s always going to be something that we’re going to feel guilty about or realize we could have done differently. Kids are going to fall and get hurt. There are going to be times when we lose our cool with our kids and snap at them when they haven’t done anything wrong. We’re human and we’re not perfect.
If our kids are happy and fed and clothed with a roof over their heads and they know they’re loved, then I’d say we’re doing a pretty darn good job as parents. We’re not bad moms – exhausted, overworked, and overwhelmed moms who need a break now and then, yes, but not bad.
We need to focus on the good things, like how we took a break in the middle of doing the dishes to read a story to our kid, or how we taught our little one to tie their shoes, or how our kid passed a difficult final exam with flying colors because we stayed up late every night for a week to help them study for it. Those are the things that matter. Those are the things that make us fantastic moms.
Bio – Megan Freed is a blogger at Catching Our Dreams and has been a freelance writer for over a decade. She is addicted to Dr. Pepper, enjoys knitting in her spare time, and has a passion for inspiring others to achieve their goals and turn their dreams into reality. She lives with her husband and six children in northwest Iowa.