I Was a Little Too Intimate with a Bee
Ashlee and I were driving down the highway yesterday evening having a typical couples spat about the weather. She was hot, and wanted to use the air conditioning. I just wanted to feel the open air through the window.
The argument got pretty heated. By heated, I mean that I gave in like a scared little boy, and began rolling my window up.
You remember how she bonded with a fly? My turn had come.
A fuzzy bumble bee flew into our window at mach speeds smacking me right in the face! It wasn’t a cool encounter with a well known Autobot. That would be worth it. This was a much dangerous creature. After a moment of calm, I realized he wasn’t in the mood to attack again. I had considering demanding for his insurance card to pay for damages until I discovered his were far worse than mine. With a broken wing, I allowed him to rest on my shirt under supervision.
“EEEK. Get it out! It’s so gross, and slimy, and scary. I cannot handle the pressure of such a grotesque beast in my presence. And I may be a little allergic!” (Ashlee would like to point out that I slightly exaggerated her reaction, and that if she is stung by a bee, she will go into anaphylactic shock.)
Because I am my wife’s biggest hero, I tried to save the day by swatting it out the window.
It landed between my legs. I was in shorts. Time to panic.
For some reason, Ashlee forgot about her allergy concerns completely as I began to excessively increase my speed to find a safe place to have “the talk” with my new yellow and black friend. He needed to learn that No means No, and there are just some parts of the human anatomy that he is not allowed to explore with his little stinger. The laughing did not ease the complexity of this situation.
We finally made it to our destination, and were able to regain control of ourselves.
Moral of the story: Don’t argue with your wife, or you may come have to face some quality time with Bubba (the Bee).