I Ruined All Her Dreams… or something

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My daughter is on a rampage.

Today, we discussed lying.. because… you know.. all kids do it. A few years back, Ashlee told her that the little blisters you get on your tongue were caused from lying. Which confused me because I didn’t know some people referred to the massive amounts of acidic food we eat as lies, but everyone has their own thing. It was clarified to me that she was not referring to our salsa addiction, but rather trying to keep the kids honest. It didn’t work, but we did catch the kids checking out the mirror anytime they spoke with us.

Today, Hannah (my oldest daughter) exclaimed to us about how unfair it is that her mother and I do not get bumps when we lie to them.

I replied, “Hannah, I never lie to you.. like ever. Except…. about Santa Claus…”

Her jaw dropped.

Now mind you, at the time of me writing this, my daughter is 10 years old. She’s practically a teenager. I mean, she already has the sass and swinging hips. The only thing she needs now is a face full of pimples.

I then continued to list all the other lies I have ever told her. I told her that all those times they received their tooth fairy money late was not because they slept in the wrong bed, or because their tooth fell out from under their pillow, or even that the tooth fairy went on a spontaneous vacation to Jamaica to meet with the hot stud she was in contact with over Facebook. The real reason was because her mother and I happened to fall asleep before finding our way to their bedroom, or we accidentally spent our last dollar on my salsa habit at the local mexican restaurant.

You know how they say the truth will set you free? Apparently my daughter was a captive wild mountain lion who has been starved for ten years with a yummy mouse dangling in front of her. Maybe it was too soon to set her free.

And with that, I need a cup of coffee.


How did you or do you plan to break the news to your children?  How was it broken to you?

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5 Responses

  1. Denise says:

    I remember my daughter being about the same age and looking me straight in the eye, “Mom, I want you to tell me something and be honest! Is Santa Claus real?”. I must have hesitated just long enough for her to realize how this question would end. Honestly, I thought she already knew. She put her hands on her hips, she was extremely angry and she said in a huff, “I guess the Tooth Fairy isn’t real either!”. We still laugh about that and she’s 18 now.

    • Joseph says:

      I love imagination. I love story telling. We take the children on all sorts of imaginative adventures so that they can have the most full childhood possible. But we always put God at the forefront so they know at the end of all the fun and games, there’s still something important.

  2. Laura Tulip says:

    This just reminded me that I once wrote some hate mail to the tooth for not leaving me any money. I was distraught and I took it very personally

  3. Jenni Petrey says:

    I’ve had to come up with some quite creative stories as to why the tooth fairy didn’t come or why the fairies didn’t visit -my daughter has a fairy door! Touch wood I haven’t been caught out yet but that day will come!

  4. Raine C. S. says:

    Oh, my parents used to say that cankers were from lying too. I believed it for a really long time.

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