Building a Family – There Were Complications
Insert foot in mouth here.
One thing I’ve learned about parenting in this season of my life is that raising one baby is a piece of cake.
My oldest was cute. He smiled, sang, and danced. We were very mobile with him without even needing a vehicle. All we needed was a baby carrier to strap to my chest, and off we went. We did the breastfeeding thing, and we kept him with all the time. For first time parents, we were rocking it. Gold Star for team awesome!
We were living the dream until Ashlee had to ruin it by taking another pregnancy test. I tell you, those things are cursed. Somehow the pharmaceutical company has them rigged to magically implant a baby in your tummy. Somebody needs to get their people looking into this before someone else falls victim.
Ashlee was carrying a baby girl inside her. Our family had to make room for one more.
Through a bit of the last, and the entirety of this pregnancy, we learned that Ashlee’s blood pressure didn’t necessarily tolerate being the fuel that ran a baby factory. There would be times that it would shoot off the meter. Times of walking zombie always followed. The doctors described this as syncope. Now I want to be honest with you. I didn’t know how to spell this word, so I Googled it. I’m a learner by nature. This is the very first time I’ve ever looked up this word, and my daughter is now 10 years old. Apparently, the doctors did not explain it to us too well because this diagnosis was to one of the symptoms of her changing blood pressure.
You see, we found out about this condition in a weird way. (This will also tell you what the syncope diagnosis came from.) My wife and a mutual friend were at a Pentecostal church service that was holding a revival. The music was thumping. People were jumping, and shouting. You know. The typical charismatic movement going full force. She never missed a service. It’s just who we are.
Even if faith talk doesn’t jive with you, keep reading. The funny part is coming.
My wife and our friend were at the front of the church singing along to the music when she suddenly felt really weak. An older lady (I had attended this church for well over a year, and only learned her name fairly recently) and the friend helped her sit down. The weakness took over completely, and my wife went out. The ladies had to dial emergency to get a medical crew urgent. This was a first for them, so in all rights they were terrified. The ambulance crew arrived to the service, and stopped in their tracks. They were confused – had no idea how to proceed. If you know nothing about the charismatic movement, then you may wonder what kind of incompetent medical personnel they were. This was a Pentecostal revival folks. There were people laying on the floor everywhere. They had no idea which one was their patient.
All worked out, and they loaded my wife up. I received a phone call from a frantic wife that not only had me rushing to the hospital, but has given me joke fodder for years to come.
“Joseph, the said I have Pre Clam Shell.”