Author: Joseph

Then and Now: A Love/Hate Relationship between Brothers

I don’t like my brother. That’s the simple truth of how I feel right now. We are six years apart, and live two completely different lifestyles. As a matter of fact, I do everything I can to avoid spending too much time with him. I’m just being brutally honest and transparent. That’s not how it always was however. Back in our younger days, my brother and I used to go on walks together just to talk. We used to cry with each other. We used to be together every day. Yeah, he was always the most annoying thing this side of Annoying Orange or Fred the Movie. For example, we were bunk bed children. Unlike other bunkbed children, my brother didn’t want the top bunk. He instead wanted to lay under my bed so that he could kick me for hours on end. Yeah, that kind of annoying. However, as life moved along, something changed. Maybe it was him. Maybe it was me. Whatever it was, it caused a deep rift. It’s possible that I’m too prideful and holier than thou. I do admit that I have an issue with pride. My wife even tells me I’m borderline arrogant. It...

Defying Labels – You Can Overcome!

Labels are all around us. We place them on everything, sometimes not even being aware of it ourselves. It’s okay. Labeling is a natural process we use to organize thoughts in the great filing cabinet of our mind. What we need to realize while we are doing this, however, is that the labels we place are fluid; not permanent. I have a son who is special needs. He’s not mentally handicapped. He’s differently-abled. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those politically correct people who is easily offended. I tell it like it is. For example, I’m fat. That’s where I am at right now. I’m not big boned, or husky. Just simply fat. But my son is just different much like the peers in his class. When he first began school, he was given an IQ test that placed a label on his life. This label landed him in special needs education classes, and caused everyone around him to look at him different. We actually had someone in a leadership position point his IQ score out to us, and tell us, “This is all we expect of him!” I disagree. Doctors told us he would never walk or...

Vacation Hot Spot: The Hospital Visit Number 235134613461

  We get to take vacation in a nice resort this week. The food is free. You have a lady who waits on you hand and foot whenever you press a little red button that always sits beside your bed. It’s a dream come true! Oh wait…. It’s not. I just read the name on the front of this resort. This is a nightmare. It says HOSPITAL! NoooooOOOOooooOOO! Many of my more dedicated readers know by now that I have children with some pretty messed up health. Thanks ObamaCare… (It’s actually because they were born early, but blaming Obama makes everything more interesting.) My youngest daughter with us runs crazy fevers due to unknown infections. It happens often, and has become part of our lifestyle. It’s not that we accept it, and are willing to live with it forever. It just doesn’t shock us, and send us into a frenzy when it happens. That’s how you get gray hair. I’d rather not have gray hair yet. *pluck* As of right now, my daughter is sitting in her hospital bed with monitors, tubes, and wires coming from every crevice. If you are a SciFi nut, you would totally geek out if...

When You Accidentally Walk into an Alfred Hitchcock Movie

We lived an Alfred Hitchcock move. In December, the family decided that we would take a relaxing trip down to warmer climates. My home state had ice storms in the forecast. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Winter is for polar bears and penguins. Since I’m neither, I migrated. Our journey brought us to Mississippi right along the edge of the Gulf of Mexico. Our tropical excursion brought us to shops, cultural foods, and, most importantly, the beach. This sounds like the perfect way to spend a winter day, no? Another family thought so as well, except they were more of the psychotic nature. I swear they practiced some form of witchcraft to bring forth the apocalypse. Let me explain. While we were dipping our bare toes in the cool ocean water enjoying the sun pouring in from the clear blue skies, this other family brought in a sacrifice of whole grain breads, and began this horrible, satanic chant. I can still hear their cacophonic (How’s that for a word choice?) voices echoing in my memories. “Here Birdie, Birdie. Here Birdie, Birdie.” A shudder as I type out these lines. They began to spread out their sacrifice in what could...

A Bit Tied Up at the Moment – Selah in Heaven

If my daughter is anything like the rest of us, the first time trying things usually ends up in a story to tell. Just ask my wife how all her Pinterest ideas turn out. That’s right. They don’t. So, I’m not saying she’s not ever going to be able to jump rope. She just needs a little practice is all.

My Wife Has an Odd Fetish – But Let Me Explain…

  Wife Watch 2018: People, prepare for the worst year of your life. It will hail frogs. Atlantis is going to sink to the bottom of the ocean AGAIN. All because my wife has yet to fall this winter with the weather showing no signs of ice in the immediate future. It’s going to be Y2K all over again. I suggest everyone who reads this make a mad dash to Walmart in order to stock up on non-perishables. This has been a Wife Watch Update.   My wife loves my nose. I can’t keep her off of it. I mean, I’d rather her not touch it, but she refuses to leave it alone. This has become a serious problem. It all started way back when we were just dating. Things were moving along at a serious pace, so I decided it was time to let her come to a small family reunion (on my mother’s side) with me. We were getting along great. Everyone laughed and had a merry ol’ time. Then the unthinkable happen. My wife turned into a violent psychopath, and struck me right in the face with her elbow. My nose, officially broken. You could tell by...